What Kind Of Asian Are You? Where Are You Really From?
Charles Cole III: Our Black Boys...
When 'CSI: NY' actor Hill Harper decided to pen a tome to inspire and uplift young African American men, he was confronted by plenty of naysayers. At his New York book-launch party for 'Letters to a Young Brother: MANifest Your Destiny,' the Harvard-educated author talked about the numerous people who told him young black people don't read. Instead of letting the negative comments dissuade him from writing, Harper stood firm in his belief that he had a message that young people needed to hear.
"I knew I could get an effective message across to our amazing young people. I am happy to know that both of my books have become [New York Times] best sellers, because that indicates to me that statistics and stereotypes can be overcome."
Harper's 2006 debut, inspired by Rainer Maria Rilke's 'Letters to a Young Poet,' includes advice from the likes of his Harvard Law classmate President Barack Obama, as well as rap star Nas and tennis great Venus Williams.
In 2008, Harper's second offering, 'Letters to a Young Sister: DeFINE Your Destiny,' followed. The book, which was designed to inspire young women and is written in letter format, features advice from influential black women like First Lady Michelle Obama, Nikki Giovanni and Ruby Dee.
Now, the 43-year-old, who notes that his biggest struggle in dating has been how much time he spends on the road, is hoping to switch gears and talk about relationships in his new book, 'The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Trusting Relationships.'
"My last two books, 'Letters to a Young Brother' and 'Letters to a Young Sister,' relied heavily on contributions from well-known men and women who had wisdom to impart to and inspire our youth. 'The Conversation,' however, is different," he clarified.
"The research I did for the book was all about talking to many people from all different walks of life to explore how we are or are not communicating as men and women."
The idea for 'The Conversation,' which includes stories from couples in all stages of relationships -- from new love to 50-year-long marriages -- came from the Iowa native's travels while promoting his previous books.
"While traveling the country on book tours and speaking engagements, I meet all sorts of people. ...Many of them trust me and feel comfortable enough to share their feelings and personal experiences," he said. "It made me want to explore both the reasons for the poor state of our men-women relationships and solutions for making them better."
Considering, as Harper points out, that in 1966, nearly 80 percent of black children were raised in two-parent households. Now that rate is a mere 33 percent; it is a good time for 'The Conversation' to hit bookstores this September.
After the release of 'The Conversation,' Harper hopes to work on a children's book series. But he's quick to remind everyone about how proud he is that his Harvard classmate is now the president of the United States of America.
"I'm so proud of him; I am so proud of us. Let's all of us work as hard as we can in our own communities to create the change that he discussed during the campaign so that we can see real transformation. He can't do it alone, and he is working really hard...so we should do the same."
Harper is certainly doing his part as an author. If 'The Conversation' is as successful as his previous two books, President Obama is certainly equally proud of Harper.
'The Conversation' will be released via Gotham Books on Sept. 8.
Mel B Pictures
In this photo provided by Kraft Foods, Spice Girl "Mel B" poses for a photo wearing a T-shirt she designed based on the classic pink ribbon used for breast cancer awareness, after a fashion show and launch of "Pose for the Cure" web site to help Kraft Foods raise money for the 'Susan G. Komen for the Cure' fight against breast cancer in New York, Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2008. The shirt is for sale on the web site and the net proceeds will benefit the foundation. (AP Photo/Kraft Foods, Ray Stubblebine) **NO SALES**
AP
In this photo provided by Kraft Foods, Spice Girl "Mel B" poses for a photo wearing a T-shirt she designed based on the classic pink ribbon used for breast cancer awareness, after a fashion show and launch of "Pose for the Cure" web site to help Kraft Foods raise money for the 'Susan G. Komen for the Cure' fight against breast cancer in New York, Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2008. The shirt is for sale on the web site and the net proceeds will benefit the foundation. (AP Photo/Kraft Foods, Ray Stubblebine) **NO SALES**
AP
In this undated image released by Oxfam Tuesday Sept. 23, 2008, British singer Mel B participates in the 'In My Name' global campaign calling for action against poverty and demanding world leaders keep their promises on millennium development goals. (AP Photo/Oxfam, HO) ** NO SALES **
AP
In this photo provided by Kraft Foods, Spice Girl Mel B, left, serves as the emcee at a fashion show and launch of "Pose for the Cure" web site to help Kraft Foods raise money for the 'Susan G. Komen for the Cure' fight against breast cancer in New York, Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2008. Mel B wears a T-shirt she designed based on the classic pink ribbon used for breast cancer awareness. The shirt is for sale on the web site and the net proceeds will benefit the foundation. The woman at right is unidentified. (AP Photo/Kraft Foods, Ray Stubblebine) **NO SALES**
AP
NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: TV personality and designer Khloe Kardashian and Olympic-level swimmer and model Amanda Beard (R) pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Ultimo Scottish designer lingerie brand founder Michelle Mone (L) and pop singer Melanie Brown pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown poses backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown and Olympic-level swimmer and model Amanda Beard (R) pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown and singer Aubrey O'Day (R) poses backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
Getty Images
NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 09: Pop singer Melanie Brown, Olympic-level swimmer and model Amanda Beard, singer Aubrey O'Day and TV personality and designer Khloe Kardashian pose backstage at the Mel B With Ultimo Spring 2009 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at the Metropolitan Pavilion on September 9, 2008 in New York City. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images )
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Comments: (16)
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By: Kevin on 8/05/2009 2:34PM
I have high regard for Mr. Harper, both as a man and actor. I am looking forward to reading all of his books.
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By: Ursula "Queen" B on 8/22/2009 1:02AM
I was pleased when I heard Hill on "The Steve Harvey Morning Show" talking about this new book. I feel that it's past time for an open dialogue about the issues we as black men and women have against one another. Hopefully we can solve this issue through truth so we can become a strong family unit once again!!! God Bless you Hill!! Luv You.
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By: angel miller on 8/25/2009 10:31PM
I love hill so much he is everything special about a black man thanks for giving me hope! Luv angel
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By: SUNNIE MILLER on 3/09/2010 3:19PM
I LOVE ME SOME HILL HARPER IT'S TO BAD MANY MEN DONT'T THINK LIKE HIM BECAUSE IF THEY DID IT WILL BE LESS CHEATING GOING ON "LEARN TO APPRECAITE WHAT U HAVE
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By: Joseph (St. Louis) on 8/10/2010 4:29PM
Brother Harper,
what is the most effective way to generate a response? The last time you were in St. Louis to promote Letters to Young Sisters, you mentioned your STL ties; each year our not for profit organization Better Family Life Host a mega citywide event. We honor socially conscious individuals like yourself. In the past we have had the likes of Danny Glover- who many know is an activist to say the least. Nonetheless, your presence is requested. Manifest Destiny...God Bless my brother.
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By: TaurusSista on 9/23/2010 4:21PM
In "The Conversation" by Hill Harper, the preamble is brilliantly executed, but the premise is weakened by a biased perception of Black women. I am curious to know in what cities or suburban areas were these women interviewed. I am a single Black woman (by choice). I was proposed to three times (by three different men respectively), but opted not too marry for various reasons. I don't think marriage defines or validates a relationship. The only necessity for a long lasting relationship in my opinion is physical, emotional, and mental compatibility...and a lot of fun and laughs in between. What's causing the demise in Black relationships? We're not having fun with one another (Which I will credit Hill, he did point this out). Apparently, an unfair disparity was made in this book. I will give you an example.
In the first few chapters, a contrast was made between Sistas who were married, and the ones who were still single. The married women were content, and the single women were bitter. This unfair comparison further regurgitates the same relationship ideologies that are enforced in our brains by Cosmo, Essense, and etc. If you're single, find a 101 ways (ie, man-traps) to land a husband. Neglect this advice, & you will wind up like a bitter old maid. The pressures for women to be married and settled is relentless. But yet, Black men are baffled as to why Black women are shoving proposal deadlines down their throats.
Every relationship is different. Every psychology is different. I have female friends who have done everything these men (the male characters in 'The Conversation') wanted in a mate (reassurance, sex, cooking, financial stability,etc). Yet. I have always joked around to my female friends and have told them I am actually the worst ideal candidate for marriage because I am unconventional, and yet, I have been proposed to three times.
There are single Black women who are content, who shy away from male-bashing conversations, want compatability, laugh and live in the moment, and live life to the fullest. I am a happy person. I would have loved for one of the female characters in the book to reflect that. Instead, I felt that we were portrayed as Career driven, miserable women who wanted to add on marriage to our furure check off list, as if we were ordering sushi. If you interview the same types of women, you will produce the same results, thus, not resolving the underlying issue at hand.
Overall, I would still recommend this book. I love you Hill Harper. Although I may have disagreed with some points in this book, nevertheless, the married couples did give some great insights on how to survive a marriage. Many newlyweds should really read this book.
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