
Earlier this month, clips of a taped television interview that gospel music sensation Tonex conducted for 'The Lexi Show' (on the Gospel network) surfaced on the Internet and caused a heated frenzy within the black religious industry. During the revealing conversation, the internationally renowned music superstar (nee Anthony Williams III) talked candidly about his homosexuality, his failed marriage and his thoughts on the black church. As expected, when someone touches upon such a taboo subject, it strikes a chord among others. But as the multiple Stellar Award-winning virtuoso tells it, in his very own words, it was a lot more than he ever bargained for. Below is Tonex's exclusive testimony to BlackVoices.com:
Okay, so now since it's really gone mainstream, there is really no backpedaling is there?
After all of the buzz surrounding the Lexi interview, things started spinning out of control. What was said, what wasn't said, and how after you tell the truth even that truth has the propensity to get twisted. However, it's never a crime to face yourself and speak your heart. And you must have heart to tell the world who you are.I never thought in a million years that I would find the courage to speak so freely about where I am as a human, a man and a child of God. After much soul searching and Bible reading, I had to come to some decisions about myself that I knew weren't going to be the easiest to confront, especially since I was a prominent figure in the religious community and gospel music at large. How would my family deal with this when it aired? And would the content be congruent with what was actually filmed after post production? I have to say that Lexi kept her word about professional journalism, and if people watch all three parts, they will see the totality of what was covered -- not just the sensationalism.
I scheduled the interview, but I had no idea of the nature of the questions. I mean, I have yet to see faith-based journalists explicitly present these kind of questions to anyone else, but that's why they asked me, because they know I'm going to give them an answer. It was spontaneous, but I had already come to terms with myself and knew that I would be able to answer with clarity, calmness and truth. Why ? Because I was tired of being asked about my sexuality, and I was still on a journey to find the fullness of what that is. To be honest, I'm still on that journey. I'm studying daily on the subject of same-sex matters. I'm tired of echoing what I've been told. I want to know for myself the true interpretation of scriptures in Biblical text and well as scientific documentation.
You know, it's not easy growing up in a Pentecostal/Evangelical church, where everyone is pretty much anti-gay, although it's common knowledge that some of the most anointed musicians and singer-songwriters have, or have dealt with, same-sex attraction at some point. For me, it was particularly taboo because of my upbringing and the ministerial call on my life. I then had to think about the repercussions of this revelation. But I knew I had to get free. That interview was cathartic for me.
It turns out that was the very first time an award-winning mainstream gospel artist openly admitted these things about his or her sexual orientation. I didn't really think about that either until after the fact, when someone mentioned it to me. Believe me, that's nothing that I'm happy about. It actually kind of sucks. I had no blueprint; I was actually making one. I had no clue of what would happen; I would have to wait and see. People make telling the truth sound so easy, but it's not. Not because you don't know whether it's the right thing to do, but because you don't know what people are going to do with it once they hear it. And, more importantly, what part of the truth they really gonna hear.
There was so much more in that interview that I thought was, unfortunately, overlooked. So much more to my story then the sexuality part, but most church folks are sexually repressed anyway, so they naturally gravitate right toward that type of subject matter. I noticed parts one and three weren't juicy enough for the church or the public, yet they were the key to the whole puzzle. I talked about my same-sex attraction. I don't think that there was any new information here. I've addressed this issue in my music for years. But for many, I guess, it was a shock of sorts. But believe me, it wasn't for shock value. The real story is not cute, ladies and gentlemen. Freedom, my friends, is not for cowards.
Amazingly, after the interview, I could not believe that 96 percent of the responses were positive. Many were commending me on my poise, my intellect and the way I handled the entire process. No, everyone didn't agree with every point I made, but they had to applaud my courage for speaking out on such a private matter. I felt the need to address it candidly because we've been skating around the subject of homosexuality and the church for a long time -- enjoying the benefits of same-gender-loving people, yet abusing them from the pulpits.No one said stop preaching against fornication, lust, lying, stealing or adultery. What I am saying is that we need to stop focusing on people's private lives and sexual orientation and preach the truth of God's salvation. Whatever your faith may be, no one has the right to blatantly disrespect or harass another human being. Beyond that, we have no need to go into people's closets and private matters. Teach the word, and let God handle the rest. His love is much greater than His judgment.
This is the position I am holding: God's love is indeed for everyone. Although that interview is being dubbed my "coming out," that was the least of what was being conveyed. Healthy, committed, monogamous relationships on both sides of the spectrum were mentioned, particularly marriage for a man and a woman (even though I have not come to terms about gay marriage). I still feel commitment is much better than promiscuity. Abstinence, of course, is ideal, but in this generation, it's just not a likely reality.
The other reactions are another story. Within no time, every engagement that I had to preach or sing in churches or faith-based concert venues was canceled. I suppose they did not want a demon-possessed homosexual on their stage or pulpit, although I never stopped preaching or teaching the same doctrine and principles that I spoke on before. I'm still the same dude today. I believe that people still have not seen the interview themselves; they are going by what they've heard someone else tell them.
I was the same person back then as I am now, the one that God used to help a lot of people. The phobias that I am witnessing are scary. People who serve this loving God are showing so much hate for one of His beloved children. And I understand where they are coming from, because it's never really been addressed this way. I'm standing out here naked. And, frankly, people are angry.
Some said I should have shown remorse; some say that I'm leading people astray. All I did was tell the truth. It's no wonder why people lie within this system. Not because they believe in everything man says but because they have bills to pay. The hypocrisy of this should have left me quite burnt out with the whole situation. So then I had to shift my focus off of religion and move toward being a pioneer. Charting new territory for an oppressed people that truly love God and have been ostracized beyond belief -- the sheep of another fold.
I speak of them in a song called 'This is All of Me.' I was speaking for all the "kids" around the world. Basically the kids are boys and girls that are LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender), a group that has a 30 percent suicide rate among gay and bisexual youth. And the young men with more "feminine gender-role characteristics" and those who recognized their same-sex orientation at an early age and acted on those sexual feelings seem to face the highest risk of self-destructive behavior.
Because no one is affirming the existence of these young people. No one is showing them love. No one is showing them life or God or beauty. They are only shown hell, death, bigotry and damnation. But even for this community and other social outcasts, there is still room at the cross.
I will continue my recording activism, advocating fair treatment of all people, including these people, my own people, with whom I not only sympathize but empathize. I have experienced firsthand what it's like to be teased, abused, yelled at and preached against. I've been told that I am worse than a serial killer. No one can ever tell me that I willfully opted for choosing this road. I wanted it out of me. In the past, I had even attempted to take my own life, but God's mercy said no.
As I continue down this path of self-discovery, my prayer is that others will see that we are your sons, daughters, cousins, nieces and nephews silently crying inside, coping with fear and uncertainty. We need love and affirmation. We need to know that it's okay to talk about these issues in a safe family environment and that we will be respected not just for our art and talents but for the beautiful human beings that God created us to be. After all, He does not make mistakes. I would not be here typing had it not been for the prayers of the righteous and real friends who understand the challenge of taking the road less traveled. May we all show love toward one another. The greatest command is love another. Thank you for listening to my testimony.
The College Survival Guide
A Fridge
Regardless of whether you have a wonderful sized meal plan, your fridge may come in handy with leftovers or when you feel like stocking it with bottled drinks.
Computer
The convenience of a computer is essential when sending your kids off to college. Forget the hike to the computer lab across campus students need a computer in the comfort of their room. A printer comes in handy as well. Depending on whether your child plans to carry his laptop around campus, you might opt for a desk top since they're lighter on the pockets.
Snacks
You will surely survive with off of a meal plan but it doesn't hurt to stock up on snacks when you don't feel like leaving your dorm room. Bottled water, pop corn, cereal and Ramen noodles are all low budget snacks to stock up on. Just be weary of the freshman 15.
Things from home
Some college students suffer from homesickness the first year. It's best to surround yourself with things like photos of the family, pillows or even stuffed animals. Anything that reminds your child of home.
MP3 Player
With all the stress that comes from school and exams, sometimes it's nice to block out the chaos in your life and even your roommate with music. It's nearly impossible to find students walking to class who aren't jamming to tunes.
Budget
Students who enter college often come in at the ripening age of 18. A great time for credit cards. Parents beware, your child may end up ruining their credit at a young age
Alarm Clock
When you're in college you don't have the luxury of getting awaken by your parents. It's now your responsibility to get to class on time so alarm clocks are a must. But keep your roommate in mind. You shouldn't wake him up ever morning with a blow horn alarm.
Cleaning supplies
Now you don't necessarily need to bring in the rubber gloves, mop and gas mask but it doesn't hurt to bring along Clorox all purpose wipes for spills or dust. Vacuums and brooms come in handy too depending if you have a carpeted dorm.
Bedding
What most parents aren't aware of is that most college beds are twin sized but extra long and require special sheets. When shopping keep your eye open for sheets that clearly state 'extra long' or else your child may come up short.
Shower shoes
You really don't know what some people do in the shower these days. College showers are known to be creeping with germs so spare yourself the fungus and purchase flip flops for the shower. You'll thank us later!


Comments: (429)
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By: JJ on 9/27/2009 11:22AM
Elder Antonio Cole, I respect and totally agree with what you had to say. However, my responce is to this you wrote:
"I just do not understand why we want to hold on to things that scripture show we should not hold on to."
You, like a whole lot of people do not understand the stronghold
homosexuality has on a person. What we feel is so real, so how can it not be real. I'm glad BroTonex came out. I understand his journey. I have been on this journey for 36 years. I also grew up in a a Pentecostal/Evangelical church. And, I"m a Minister of Music. When the truth came out about me, I was droped like a hot patato. Bro Tonex I applaud your courage. Church flok can be, hmmmmm, not so nice.
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By: a. mcewen on 9/27/2009 2:15PM
While I do respect your opinion, Elder Cole, it is your words that mixes things up. I think that the situation with Tonex reveals that we must have a discussion about what exactly the Bible does say and what does it mean for our lives. Some may think that what was written about homosexuality is clear but it wasn't too long ago that folks said that the Bible justified slavery and segregation. Homilies about being a Christian and loving everybody but "not being able to accept the sin" are vague words that distract us from talking about the real issue. As much as we try to make it so, the words of the Bible is not clear about gay and lesbian relationships just as it is not clear about racism.
Not putting anyone down, but there needs to be some encouragement of discussion instead of self-righteous verbiage about sin.
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By: tlove01 on 9/27/2009 3:35PM
I appreciate and commend you for writing the words that you did.I also would like to talk more to you about faith in the lord. If you don't mind please respond and it will let my email know that you have left a response with your email
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By: Frank on 9/28/2009 8:46PM
Well I guess a lot of people showing up in church every Sunday are going to hell, if as you say damnation is there for liars, fornicators . . .
Truth is leave the judgement to God, and get your own house straight.
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By: Sarena on 9/27/2009 7:54PM
You said it better than I have ever heard someone say it! That was a God given response and not an opinion based response. God doesn't like for people to led his children to sin, for it is better for them to have a large millstone tied around there neck and be cased into the depths of the sea Matthew 18:6
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By: ahsaki2 on 9/27/2009 8:50PM
I agree with you. People want to twist the Bible to accept whatever it is they want to do. Jesus said we are to repent and stop the sin, not be forgiven and allowed to continue it. It's a sorry world we live in where EVERYbody wants to be accepted for EVERYTthing they want to do, no matter HOW decadent it is. One day, trust me, pedophiles and everyone else who does heinous acts that have since day one been considered sick and degenerate will march on Washington and find passages in the Bible to twist to confirm approval of their disgusting thoughts, actions and behaviors. God help us!
What a nice looking man, too. It's always the case!
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By: Chubby on 9/27/2009 10:50PM
Elder Antonio Cole you could not have said it better. Our opinions mean nothing....the word of God is clear! We as believers are not allowing people to witness God's power. God is not a confused God we are confused. We can't straddle the fence. If this is a thing he (Tonex) is battling first thing he needs to do is step down from leadership and focus on his spiritual walk. He needs God and the body to help him overcome those desires. Satan is the accuser and he comes to kill and destroy so we need to stay alert at all times because he is in our homes, school yards, and yes roaming through our churches. Thank you for the Truth!
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By: Angela on 9/27/2009 10:54PM
Elder Cole, I have just one question for you. Can you pin point the scripture that says, without a doubt, that homosexuality is wrong? Many of my peers are confused on that, and I can't seem to find a scripture that clearly states homosexuality is not of God. I'm not saying I disagree with you, but some churches have made it so, that people who are dealing with homosexuality are not welcome. And that is what I believe Tonex's point really is. We are all children of God, and we were all made in his image. So, why is it that when a homosexual comes to church they don't feel as though they are welcome? I have friends dealing with the same situation, and I've seen and heard the cruel things that have happened to them at church. And although plenty of people will tell you homosexuality is not of God, they can never give me the scripture that corrilates with it. Can you help me out, because I can't seem to find the sripture either.
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By: Sandie on 9/27/2009 11:30PM
Thanks Elder Cole. After reading most of the comments all I could think about is Sodom & Gomorrah!!!!!!
Sandie
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By: Anonymous on 9/28/2009 12:30AM
I agree with you. The Word of God is what it is: Truth. It is one thing to be one way prior to Christ, but if we are truly a believer then there must be a conversion which begins with the renewal of the mind as stated in Romans 12.
The Word of God says in 1 Corinthians 13:6, "Rejoice not in iniquity, but rejoice in the truth..."
In 2 Timothy 2:19, "Nevertheless, the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And let everyone that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity.
I have to say that when I read this article, I was infuriated. First with the dishonor to Christ, especially. The second at the justification of the wrong. Third, the deception of the people follwing and appreciating the music. Concealment is just the same as dishonesty because personal truth was known; singing lyrics to appear as praising God, yet subliminally singing to gay communities. That is wrong, totally wrong. And finally, the mentioning of children. I'm sorry, I am totally upset. How can one, obviously against the entire God-created family structure, say anything about children? I have to tell you, it takes a whole lot for me to get upset, and that is what I am right now. How dare you involve children, when obviously you are against it, considering a right seed must be produced by one male and one female. To justfy any other means is totally out of line. As a mother, I'm infuriated.
It is one thing to have your views, but when you cross the line into a straight man's territory, you are way off base.
I totally wish you well, and hope nothing but the best for you, but to insult God and Christ this way is totally, totally wrong.
The Word of God is what it is. Let me share this in closing, Romans 1:18 says this, "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness." (Read the remainder of the chapter and understand for yourself and stop blaming people. It is the truth of the Word, not the opinion of man that makes the difference)
"Who hold the truth in unrighteousness." This means justification for what God says is wrong. Yes, God loves you, but what you are doing is wrong. And the fact that it is justified is a slap in God's face. He deserves so much more than that. Christ deserves so much more than that. I am such a fan of God it's not funny, and to dishonor Him this way is so wrong.
God love you, man, but to dishonor Him by your justification is so wrong.
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