
Earlier this month, clips of a taped television interview that gospel music sensation Tonex conducted for 'The Lexi Show' (on the Gospel network) surfaced on the Internet and caused a heated frenzy within the black religious industry. During the revealing conversation, the internationally renowned music superstar (nee Anthony Williams III) talked candidly about his homosexuality, his failed marriage and his thoughts on the black church. As expected, when someone touches upon such a taboo subject, it strikes a chord among others. But as the multiple Stellar Award-winning virtuoso tells it, in his very own words, it was a lot more than he ever bargained for. Below is Tonex's exclusive testimony to BlackVoices.com:
Okay, so now since it's really gone mainstream, there is really no backpedaling is there?
After all of the buzz surrounding the Lexi interview, things started spinning out of control. What was said, what wasn't said, and how after you tell the truth even that truth has the propensity to get twisted. However, it's never a crime to face yourself and speak your heart. And you must have heart to tell the world who you are.I never thought in a million years that I would find the courage to speak so freely about where I am as a human, a man and a child of God. After much soul searching and Bible reading, I had to come to some decisions about myself that I knew weren't going to be the easiest to confront, especially since I was a prominent figure in the religious community and gospel music at large. How would my family deal with this when it aired? And would the content be congruent with what was actually filmed after post production? I have to say that Lexi kept her word about professional journalism, and if people watch all three parts, they will see the totality of what was covered -- not just the sensationalism.
I scheduled the interview, but I had no idea of the nature of the questions. I mean, I have yet to see faith-based journalists explicitly present these kind of questions to anyone else, but that's why they asked me, because they know I'm going to give them an answer. It was spontaneous, but I had already come to terms with myself and knew that I would be able to answer with clarity, calmness and truth. Why ? Because I was tired of being asked about my sexuality, and I was still on a journey to find the fullness of what that is. To be honest, I'm still on that journey. I'm studying daily on the subject of same-sex matters. I'm tired of echoing what I've been told. I want to know for myself the true interpretation of scriptures in Biblical text and well as scientific documentation.
You know, it's not easy growing up in a Pentecostal/Evangelical church, where everyone is pretty much anti-gay, although it's common knowledge that some of the most anointed musicians and singer-songwriters have, or have dealt with, same-sex attraction at some point. For me, it was particularly taboo because of my upbringing and the ministerial call on my life. I then had to think about the repercussions of this revelation. But I knew I had to get free. That interview was cathartic for me.
It turns out that was the very first time an award-winning mainstream gospel artist openly admitted these things about his or her sexual orientation. I didn't really think about that either until after the fact, when someone mentioned it to me. Believe me, that's nothing that I'm happy about. It actually kind of sucks. I had no blueprint; I was actually making one. I had no clue of what would happen; I would have to wait and see. People make telling the truth sound so easy, but it's not. Not because you don't know whether it's the right thing to do, but because you don't know what people are going to do with it once they hear it. And, more importantly, what part of the truth they really gonna hear.
There was so much more in that interview that I thought was, unfortunately, overlooked. So much more to my story then the sexuality part, but most church folks are sexually repressed anyway, so they naturally gravitate right toward that type of subject matter. I noticed parts one and three weren't juicy enough for the church or the public, yet they were the key to the whole puzzle. I talked about my same-sex attraction. I don't think that there was any new information here. I've addressed this issue in my music for years. But for many, I guess, it was a shock of sorts. But believe me, it wasn't for shock value. The real story is not cute, ladies and gentlemen. Freedom, my friends, is not for cowards.
Amazingly, after the interview, I could not believe that 96 percent of the responses were positive. Many were commending me on my poise, my intellect and the way I handled the entire process. No, everyone didn't agree with every point I made, but they had to applaud my courage for speaking out on such a private matter. I felt the need to address it candidly because we've been skating around the subject of homosexuality and the church for a long time -- enjoying the benefits of same-gender-loving people, yet abusing them from the pulpits.No one said stop preaching against fornication, lust, lying, stealing or adultery. What I am saying is that we need to stop focusing on people's private lives and sexual orientation and preach the truth of God's salvation. Whatever your faith may be, no one has the right to blatantly disrespect or harass another human being. Beyond that, we have no need to go into people's closets and private matters. Teach the word, and let God handle the rest. His love is much greater than His judgment.
This is the position I am holding: God's love is indeed for everyone. Although that interview is being dubbed my "coming out," that was the least of what was being conveyed. Healthy, committed, monogamous relationships on both sides of the spectrum were mentioned, particularly marriage for a man and a woman (even though I have not come to terms about gay marriage). I still feel commitment is much better than promiscuity. Abstinence, of course, is ideal, but in this generation, it's just not a likely reality.
The other reactions are another story. Within no time, every engagement that I had to preach or sing in churches or faith-based concert venues was canceled. I suppose they did not want a demon-possessed homosexual on their stage or pulpit, although I never stopped preaching or teaching the same doctrine and principles that I spoke on before. I'm still the same dude today. I believe that people still have not seen the interview themselves; they are going by what they've heard someone else tell them.
I was the same person back then as I am now, the one that God used to help a lot of people. The phobias that I am witnessing are scary. People who serve this loving God are showing so much hate for one of His beloved children. And I understand where they are coming from, because it's never really been addressed this way. I'm standing out here naked. And, frankly, people are angry.
Some said I should have shown remorse; some say that I'm leading people astray. All I did was tell the truth. It's no wonder why people lie within this system. Not because they believe in everything man says but because they have bills to pay. The hypocrisy of this should have left me quite burnt out with the whole situation. So then I had to shift my focus off of religion and move toward being a pioneer. Charting new territory for an oppressed people that truly love God and have been ostracized beyond belief -- the sheep of another fold.
I speak of them in a song called 'This is All of Me.' I was speaking for all the "kids" around the world. Basically the kids are boys and girls that are LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender), a group that has a 30 percent suicide rate among gay and bisexual youth. And the young men with more "feminine gender-role characteristics" and those who recognized their same-sex orientation at an early age and acted on those sexual feelings seem to face the highest risk of self-destructive behavior.
Because no one is affirming the existence of these young people. No one is showing them love. No one is showing them life or God or beauty. They are only shown hell, death, bigotry and damnation. But even for this community and other social outcasts, there is still room at the cross.
I will continue my recording activism, advocating fair treatment of all people, including these people, my own people, with whom I not only sympathize but empathize. I have experienced firsthand what it's like to be teased, abused, yelled at and preached against. I've been told that I am worse than a serial killer. No one can ever tell me that I willfully opted for choosing this road. I wanted it out of me. In the past, I had even attempted to take my own life, but God's mercy said no.
As I continue down this path of self-discovery, my prayer is that others will see that we are your sons, daughters, cousins, nieces and nephews silently crying inside, coping with fear and uncertainty. We need love and affirmation. We need to know that it's okay to talk about these issues in a safe family environment and that we will be respected not just for our art and talents but for the beautiful human beings that God created us to be. After all, He does not make mistakes. I would not be here typing had it not been for the prayers of the righteous and real friends who understand the challenge of taking the road less traveled. May we all show love toward one another. The greatest command is love another. Thank you for listening to my testimony.
The College Survival Guide
A Fridge
Regardless of whether you have a wonderful sized meal plan, your fridge may come in handy with leftovers or when you feel like stocking it with bottled drinks.
Computer
The convenience of a computer is essential when sending your kids off to college. Forget the hike to the computer lab across campus students need a computer in the comfort of their room. A printer comes in handy as well. Depending on whether your child plans to carry his laptop around campus, you might opt for a desk top since they're lighter on the pockets.
Snacks
You will surely survive with off of a meal plan but it doesn't hurt to stock up on snacks when you don't feel like leaving your dorm room. Bottled water, pop corn, cereal and Ramen noodles are all low budget snacks to stock up on. Just be weary of the freshman 15.
Things from home
Some college students suffer from homesickness the first year. It's best to surround yourself with things like photos of the family, pillows or even stuffed animals. Anything that reminds your child of home.
MP3 Player
With all the stress that comes from school and exams, sometimes it's nice to block out the chaos in your life and even your roommate with music. It's nearly impossible to find students walking to class who aren't jamming to tunes.
Budget
Students who enter college often come in at the ripening age of 18. A great time for credit cards. Parents beware, your child may end up ruining their credit at a young age
Alarm Clock
When you're in college you don't have the luxury of getting awaken by your parents. It's now your responsibility to get to class on time so alarm clocks are a must. But keep your roommate in mind. You shouldn't wake him up ever morning with a blow horn alarm.
Cleaning supplies
Now you don't necessarily need to bring in the rubber gloves, mop and gas mask but it doesn't hurt to bring along Clorox all purpose wipes for spills or dust. Vacuums and brooms come in handy too depending if you have a carpeted dorm.
Bedding
What most parents aren't aware of is that most college beds are twin sized but extra long and require special sheets. When shopping keep your eye open for sheets that clearly state 'extra long' or else your child may come up short.
Shower shoes
You really don't know what some people do in the shower these days. College showers are known to be creeping with germs so spare yourself the fungus and purchase flip flops for the shower. You'll thank us later!


Comments: (429)
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By: Nyeesha on 9/28/2009 4:48AM
You were so on point with everything you said in your statement. I am happy that you were not afraid in speaking on what the Bible says and not simply your opinion. About a year ago I had a problem with a woman having a deep interest in me, but I couldn't pursue it. It was hard because I was going through something in my life, where I felt well maybe GOD does want everybody to happy as long as their balance. I thought I could try, "something new" out for the first time and see if it could work. I'm so happy that thought went out of my head as soon as it came in. The young lady that pursued me wasn't even interested in considering Bible texts with me, not for judging, but just for spiritual conversation. The last thing I could ever sacrifice is be with somebody and not be able to talk about GOD and what his kingdom is going to bring to all imperfect mankind on earth. I had to change my thinking. GOD never changes his belief, because his laws are perfect. It is up to each and everyone of us to work out our demons through changing ourselves and sacrificing something we desire to put God's will first. Galatians 5:17 says, "For the flesh is against the spirit in its desire, and the spirit against the flesh; for these are opposed to each other, so that the very things that you would like to do you do not do" New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures. I'm glad someone on here is sticking to the Bible as their source of fact and truth versus getting caught up in the emotional part which of course is difficult.
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By: Carin on 9/28/2009 7:50PM
Amen! Elder Cole. I thank God for you and others that are not afraid to speak what thus saith the Lord! We as the body of Christ should be more out spoken in the communities. We should form a annual Gospel Parade. Waving flags of triumph showing the Lion of the Tribe of Judah.
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By: Nina Edwards on 9/29/2009 5:19PM
I do kno wthat what you say is true as someone also in ministry it gets to me at times that we have come so far and yet we have'nt? Tonex is in pain no one choses to be gay of that I trully believe . We know in the church especially that homosexuailty is a huge thing, but it seems people would rather live with it and not admit it trully? Instead we have men standing up in pulpits preaching and teaching the word of God and living double lives? They are marrying women having children destroying lives with their deceptive behavior. God is pleased with none of it but we must embarass people and show them love. Stop shutting them out. The Word of God is the only Word and it's right we must pray and pray
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By: Dawn on 9/29/2009 11:11PM
Amen! No time for compromising. This generation is being deceived and are going to hell because they do not know the TRUTH, but they only know people's opinions and feelings. But I know one thing, AGAPE can change a person sometimes a lot better than words. The love of God can pull a person out of death and damnation and into life and LIGHT stronger then any sermon can. The lost sometimes need to be loved into the power of God. LOVE is a powerful weapon. According to Jesus, two of the greatest commandments talk about love because it is important to God. It was love that saved us. God so loved us that He gave up Jesus... and He gives us love, continually- no matter what we do.
When words, sermons, and the Bible may not work initially all we can do is love them. Love them through prayer and love them by being one of the few that will say I accept you though I may not accept your lifestyle. That is what God does! he loves us all but He may not love what we do.
We are called to be examples of Jesus and the mercy and the grace and the power and the glory and the UNCONDITIONAL love of God. Jesus loved upon everyone and it was love that drew Mary to Him and out o prostitution. (I hope I did not confused some.)
Sometimes love speaks louder than any words can. We all need love, we were all made for love and made to love. Love is the greatest and best thing that we can do for those who have strayed away because often times that is what they are missing. We ought to love them into the kingdom when they are to ashamed or angry or condemned to even look at or listen to the Word of God... and then be there when they begin to ask- because if you love them with the love of God eventually they will want to know about (that) God.
WHEN THEY ARE TOO WOUNDED FOR WORDS, JUST LOVE 'EM (for now)!
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By: Nikki on 10/01/2009 1:32PM
Thank you Elder Cole,
As I read Tonex's testimony, all I could think was how deeply prayer was needed. I am not judging in anyway, but God's word is true. So many try to fall under the umbrella of God's love, but refuse to do and obey His will. I am not perfect, but I strive daily to do the will of my Father up above. Ceasing to try and fit my life into His will but His will into my life.
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By: BRENDA GRAVES on 10/13/2009 9:11AM
ENOUGH SAID....AMEN................
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By: VR on 11/23/2009 11:06AM
Elder Cole, your words resonated with me! There is one God and one truth. I love the last sentence, "Let God be true and every man a lie!" .....
Having said that, I was wondering what your views are on re-marriage after divorce. The word says in Mat 19:9 and again in Mar 10:11-12 that marrying a divorcee(specifically, someone who divorced) and re-marrying after divorcing someone is adultery. However, I hear different rationals from different christians, but when the word of God is so plain what reasoning is needed???
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By: E.B. Pinckney on 2/24/2010 1:20PM
Amen Brother Elder,
I felt the Lord move in me as I read these words... please, Brother Anthony, Know that your struggle is not alone, and the church of Christ, nor our faithful Lord will never turn its back on you. WE LOVE YOU! And my prayers are going out to all sisters and brothers who struggle with this. Just embrace. God's truth and he WILL, "Make You Over!" Hallelujah! Glory be to God!
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By: Rudy on 3/30/2010 1:53PM
Amen, well said. Everyone wants to do what seems right in thier own eyes but we who read our bibles know that this does not line up with God. We will not judge Tonex but we will continue to pray for him...
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By: Andra Arro on 6/02/2010 6:20AM
You are perfectly on point! No compromise! The devil is a liar. This is a blatant attack. Brother Tonex is harboring hurt, hurt turns into anger, anger into rebellion. Tonex isn't our enemy. Satan is. Clearly he is deceived. The Bible speaks of a great falling away in the last days. He also declares that men would lose their natural affection for women. Church, we better fight and pray! Not against the saints but against the great deceiver. The lure Tonex is speaking of is just what satan used since the beginning of time. Eve reasoned and look what it wrought. Trickery, deception, death ultimately. We need to make it our business not to ostracize saints who choose this path, but plead the BLOOD OF JESUS over them.
It is clear that Tonex isn't certain of this path. He's study to find support to continue in what his flesh hasn't denied. The flesh will never deny lust. It's apart of it. The flesh want to call its lust love. It is not love. The Bible declares that the flesh lusts against the things of the Spirit and the Spirit lusts against the things of the flesh. There will forever be a constant warring in us, but we must forever submit ourselves and our passions unto the Lord. I mean literally crawl on the altar in our hearts and ask God to slay every wrong thing in us. If we don't, we will be sorry later. All sin is is MAN ON THE THRONE. We must let the Lord SIT, RULE, and REIGN there.
As Christians, we focus on one aspect of this walk to condone what we refuse to let go of, and that's the LOVE OF GOD. Yet, the fact forever will remain that God requires some HOUSEKEEPING. It begins with our minds where we must be TRANSFORMED daily. In this place we must submit our thoughts unto God, then our mind, will, and emotions. Then can we experience that spiritual transformation of being renewed in the mind that we may prove what is the GOOD, PERFECT, AND ACCEPTABLE will of God.
Brother Tonex, know that I condemn you not, for he who is without sin, let him/her cast the first stone. But know that I love you and am praying for you as well as myself and the Body of Christ that you seem to be blaming in some way for what's happened to you and others. When dealing with God's children, always seperate yourself from what they do compared to God. God is Holy and perfect. His children are not. We are all trying at working and walking this life out. You can never trust man, but you can TRUST GOD! In my saying that I'm praying for us, it is that we be made aware that SEDUCING SPIRITS have been let loose on the church, and we none want to be found heeding their call. Lord, keep us in this hour in Jesus' Matchless Name. Amen.
In earnest sincerity,
A Fellow Believer
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