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It's hard following in the footsteps of your mother, especially when she's Pulitzer Prize-winning author Alice Walker.
For 40-year-old author Rebecca Walker, having a famous mother has been anything but easy, and she's opening up about just how her difficult life was.
"I very nearly missed out on becoming a mother – thanks to being brought up by a rabid feminist who thought motherhood was about the worst thing that could happen to a woman," she revealed to British newspaper Daily Mail.
"My mom taught me that children enslave women," she continued. "I grew up believing that children are millstones around your neck, and the idea that motherhood can make you blissfully happy is a complete fairytale."
These days, the Yale graduate (born Rebecca Leventhal) is the proud mother of a 3-year-old son named Tenzin with her partner, Glen. Yet, she holds 'The Color Purple' novelist responsible for much of her hardships growing up and is working hard at being a totally different type of mother.
"Ironically, my mother regards herself as a hugely maternal woman. Believing that women are suppressed, she has campaigned for their rights around the world," she noted.
"But while she has taken care of daughters all over the world and is hugely revered for her public work and service, my childhood tells a very different story. I came very low down in her priorities -- after work, political integrity, self-fulfillment, friendships, spiritual life, fame and travel."
Following in her mother's footsteps, the biracial Mississippi native devoted a great deal of her life to upholding feminist principles.
She co-founded a nonprofit, Third Wave Foundation, to encourage activism in young women and was recognized for her work signing up tens of thousands of young female voters by the National Association of University Women, the National Organization for Women and the League of Women Voters.
She was also a contributing editor to several notable publications, including Essence, Ms., Glamour, Interview, Vibe and Mademoiselle. Time magazine even chose her as one of its 50 Future Leaders of America.
For her mother, aside from writing the seminal novel, which spawned a classic film and a hit Broadway musical of the same name, the Georgia native has published poetry, novels and nonfiction works, in addition to being honored with the Radcliffe Institute Fellowship, the Merrill Fellowship, and a Guggenheim Fellowship.
The personal lives of mother and daughter mirror each other, too. For years Rebecca dated alternative-rock soul singer Meshell Ndegeocello, while her 66 year-old mother was rumored to be romantically involved with singer-songwriter Tracy Chapman.
Still, Rebecca believes her mother was selfish, taking off in her teenager years for a two-month jaunt to Greece and leaving her with relatives. When she was younger, Rebecca says, her mother forbade her from playing with dolls.
"A good mother is attentive, sets boundaries and makes the world safe for her child. But my mother did none of those things."
"I was 16 when I found a now-famous poem she wrote comparing me to various calamities that struck and impeded the lives of other women writers," Rebecca noted.
According to Rebecca, Alice called her a "delightful distraction, but a calamity nevertheless." It was something that she said was "a huge shock and very upsetting."
The two women were estranged after Rebecca's 2000 memoir, 'Black, White and Jewish: Autobiography of a Shifting Self' was released. Her mother was unhappy about some of her reflections in the tome.Still, their communication did not cease until Rebecca became pregnant with her first child in 2004.
"I was at one of her homes, sitting, and told her my news and that I'd never been happier. She went very quiet. All she could say was that she was shocked. Then, she asked if I could check on her garden."
An e-mail correspondence followed between the two women after Alice became upset at an interview in which Rebecca mentioned that her parents did not protect or look out for her. Now, according to Rebecca, she's been cut out of her mother's will.
"She wrote me a letter saying that our relationship has been inconsequential for years, and that she is no longer interested in being my mother," Rebecca noted.
"I have since heard that my mother has cut me out of her will in favor of one of my cousins," she added. "I feel terribly sad – my mother is missing such a great opportunity to be close to her family, but I'm also relieved. Unlike most mothers, mine has never taken any pride in my achievements."
"I've done all I can to be a loyal, loving daughter, but I can no longer have this poisonous relationship destroy my life."
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Comments: (138)
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By: Marcella Ashe on 9/22/2010 5:39PM
I am an author that write books for children and juveniles . I chose this genre' because there are so many young people victim to their parent's misunderstanding of what real parenting is or wanting to submit their time to real parenting.
I have a story title 'INCHOATE" delivering in part the life story of a doctor of medicine that came from project living. She trusted me with her story of how a stranger taught her to pray when she was misunderstood and could not get away from her forbidden place . The prayers worked. Also another friend from the same project became a dentist and he does not mind me saying his name.
The success stories keep coming from either homes of a absent parent to hardly any parent.Most of these children find a sacred or private place to make good a bad situation.The moral outrages need more moral solutions by anyone that deem it possible to lend a hand to children missing the link called love to adding the unfortunate loop in the scoop they can grasp onto without guidance.
The guidance is much needed but the something to hold onto is something that is put in our children before they are fully formed.Each child uses a different method designed to fit their purpose in finding the niche' in moving toward their selected goals. Congrats! to Rebecca Walker with some inspirational advice:' You are much aware of what got you to where you are and you are better equipped to go far. Love your mom but to forgive her and go on , Life will be far better for you than her.because you value what God has formed!
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By: Mary Monroe on 9/23/2010 3:50PM
WHY is this child (Daughter Dearest) using her "toxic" mother's last name when she was born a LEVENTHAL? She can trash Alice and still use her famous last name to get more attention and that's okay? I met Rebecca when she was around 13 at a public event and for the entire evening, Alice devoted most of her attention to her. The girl was obviously spoiled, self-centered, and frivolous even then. Her current behavior does not surprise me. Alice, if you read this, kudos for removing your undeserving, ungrateful daughter from your will!!
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By: cl.davenport on 10/05/2010 6:41PM
I hate to be the somber or sober one.(all the comments that have been said). But, there has to be some level of biography behind the novels that Alice Walker has penned, most notably The Color Purple. Racism (which includes a plethora of bi-racial issues), sexism, incest, poverty especially as it relates to Alice Walker and the generations before her will resonate a truth that America will find hard to bear. And, therefore, a price that Walker's daughter and even grandchildren will feel the brunt.
http://paragonlifeblog.com/2010/09/20/a-piece-of-broadway-round-the-corner/
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By: gloria lewis on 10/10/2010 6:28PM
As far as Rebecca following in her mother's footsteps: Children do what they see! That said, it is to anyone's credit to consciously avoid doing whatever their parents did that they considered wrong. So, Rebecca says that she is making a concerted effort to be there physically, and more importantly emotionally for her child. I had a toxic mother, I made every the effort not to take my child through the misery that I experienced. She is grown now, and has assured me that my efforts definitely paid off.
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By: Mine on 10/12/2010 11:13PM
Alice have a hardness to her as if she hates her blackness. Read her books full of Anti-blackness. I mean there nothing wrong with being a womanist or whatever she calls herself but dn't take it out on the children.
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By: Hargrove on 12/05/2010 3:48PM
This girl should be talking to a therapist! She's clearly the product of parental alienation syndrome, and her thoughts are the product of that confusion. While she dumped her mother, she uses her mother's name and fame to "make a living," by contrast, she didn't have to dump her father, who she never trashes, because he dumped her — as alienating parents often do. In an alienating relationship, the child's only value is as a weapon to hurt the other parent. When the effectiveness of that weapon is diminished, so is the usefulness of the child.
Notice the only suggestion of relationship building comes in the context of her expectation that she might not be in her mother's will . . .
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By: rltell on 11/14/2011 8:52PM
Sounds like the musings of any privileged child whose wildly successful parents did not pay them enough attention.
Forty is a bit old to be blaming mom.
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By: Gijama on 5/27/2013 6:09PM
How shocking that a mother who writes about deep emotion in her books can be so devoid of emotion towards her own child. I am a mother of 3 children, & my children come first in my life always. If you choose to have children then they are your top priority not your own self interest.
Shame on you Alice Walker, so quietly spoken & keen to promote your ethos of love for nature & humankind, but cruel & heartless to your own daughter. What hypocrisy !
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