WATCH: The Fresh Prince Is Back
Is This The Tracklist To Kanye's 'Yeezus'?
It's hard following in the footsteps of your mother, especially when she's Pulitzer Prize-winning author Alice Walker.
For 40-year-old author Rebecca Walker, having a famous mother has been anything but easy, and she's opening up about just how her difficult life was.
"I very nearly missed out on becoming a mother – thanks to being brought up by a rabid feminist who thought motherhood was about the worst thing that could happen to a woman," she revealed to British newspaper Daily Mail.
"My mom taught me that children enslave women," she continued. "I grew up believing that children are millstones around your neck, and the idea that motherhood can make you blissfully happy is a complete fairytale."
These days, the Yale graduate (born Rebecca Leventhal) is the proud mother of a 3-year-old son named Tenzin with her partner, Glen. Yet, she holds 'The Color Purple' novelist responsible for much of her hardships growing up and is working hard at being a totally different type of mother.
"Ironically, my mother regards herself as a hugely maternal woman. Believing that women are suppressed, she has campaigned for their rights around the world," she noted.
"But while she has taken care of daughters all over the world and is hugely revered for her public work and service, my childhood tells a very different story. I came very low down in her priorities -- after work, political integrity, self-fulfillment, friendships, spiritual life, fame and travel."
Following in her mother's footsteps, the biracial Mississippi native devoted a great deal of her life to upholding feminist principles.
She co-founded a nonprofit, Third Wave Foundation, to encourage activism in young women and was recognized for her work signing up tens of thousands of young female voters by the National Association of University Women, the National Organization for Women and the League of Women Voters.
She was also a contributing editor to several notable publications, including Essence, Ms., Glamour, Interview, Vibe and Mademoiselle. Time magazine even chose her as one of its 50 Future Leaders of America.
For her mother, aside from writing the seminal novel, which spawned a classic film and a hit Broadway musical of the same name, the Georgia native has published poetry, novels and nonfiction works, in addition to being honored with the Radcliffe Institute Fellowship, the Merrill Fellowship, and a Guggenheim Fellowship.
The personal lives of mother and daughter mirror each other, too. For years Rebecca dated alternative-rock soul singer Meshell Ndegeocello, while her 66 year-old mother was rumored to be romantically involved with singer-songwriter Tracy Chapman.
Still, Rebecca believes her mother was selfish, taking off in her teenager years for a two-month jaunt to Greece and leaving her with relatives. When she was younger, Rebecca says, her mother forbade her from playing with dolls.
"A good mother is attentive, sets boundaries and makes the world safe for her child. But my mother did none of those things."
"I was 16 when I found a now-famous poem she wrote comparing me to various calamities that struck and impeded the lives of other women writers," Rebecca noted.
According to Rebecca, Alice called her a "delightful distraction, but a calamity nevertheless." It was something that she said was "a huge shock and very upsetting."
The two women were estranged after Rebecca's 2000 memoir, 'Black, White and Jewish: Autobiography of a Shifting Self' was released. Her mother was unhappy about some of her reflections in the tome.Still, their communication did not cease until Rebecca became pregnant with her first child in 2004.
"I was at one of her homes, sitting, and told her my news and that I'd never been happier. She went very quiet. All she could say was that she was shocked. Then, she asked if I could check on her garden."
An e-mail correspondence followed between the two women after Alice became upset at an interview in which Rebecca mentioned that her parents did not protect or look out for her. Now, according to Rebecca, she's been cut out of her mother's will.
"She wrote me a letter saying that our relationship has been inconsequential for years, and that she is no longer interested in being my mother," Rebecca noted.
"I have since heard that my mother has cut me out of her will in favor of one of my cousins," she added. "I feel terribly sad – my mother is missing such a great opportunity to be close to her family, but I'm also relieved. Unlike most mothers, mine has never taken any pride in my achievements."
"I've done all I can to be a loyal, loving daughter, but I can no longer have this poisonous relationship destroy my life."
oKExp.start("bv-ent-the_wayward_kids_of_the_rich_and_famous");
Comments: (137)
Add a comment
By: rightorwrong on 9/18/2010 2:20AM
some people are just single minded! i remember reading a story about henry fonda who threatned to cut his son out of his will, even when his son came to his rescue and took care of his finances when he was seriously ill, God bless the child who has his own, parents sometimes think that their children will really suffer if they don't leave them everything in their will, hello? they will still survive, when we bring up children and give them moral standing it's a chance we take to see if they will be grateful, some children treat their parents really badly while others always remember the great sacrifice their parents made for them, her mother needs a wake up call, she can't take her goods with her when she leaves this earth! they made it up in the end, but can you imagine the pain in between, parents should be parents and shouldn't think it is a big inconvience when children come along!
Reply to this Comment | Report This
By: adrianne on 9/18/2010 6:01AM
I'm only basing my comments from the article. What is true and not true we probably will never know. On the flip side of the coin I know that their are also plenty of children out there that are just sitting back and waiting for their parents to kick the bucket. To me it's not about whether or why she's disinheriting her child. It's the mean spirit in which her child is attacking her. If she was revealing some sort of abuse, then I would be all for it. But what is in the article, it just sounds like a resentful child who hates living in her mother's shadow. Nothing revealed in here warrants a public flogging.
Report This
By: faby on 9/18/2010 8:53PM
it's not about the money or being cut out. it's the reasoning behind the action. Rebecca has her own, trust.
Report This
By: Hargrove on 12/05/2010 3:44PM
"A delightful distraction, but a calamity nevertheless" is nothing more than an affectionate "delightful," description of the truth of mothering.
As I writer myself, I wrote some lines, and when my daughter appeared, I stopped. I took her places, I talked to her, I walked with her, and while I did those things, I didn't do other things that needed doing.
The key word is delight. Somehow after loosing your body, and having it part to make way for another human being, and distractions, and costs, and fears, and challenges, you can still call it delightful.
Children born of parental alienation look for an explanation for their pain in the life of the alienated parent. Too bad this Rebeca was convinced to abandon the best relationship of her life, for a father who abandoned her.
Report This
By: David1 on 9/18/2010 7:30AM
This just shows that Alice Walker hatred extended not only to black men but sadly to her daughter as well. Alice Walker was and apparently still a hate filled bitter black feminist.
So many black women were indoctrinated into this disdain for the traditional family and black men by embittered hateful black feminist writers like Alice Walker. IMO the black baby momma phenomenon came about through choices many black women made buying into this type of feminist nonsense. Many of these black women writers like Alice Walker used tails of abuse to shield them from critics who raised questions about their constanly spewing hatred of black men and the traditional two parent family.
We look at the misogyny of black male rappers today but Alice walker and what followed by many black feminist writers equaled the same hatred of black men in literary form. I feel sorry for her daughter or anyone who had to come in contract with the likes of Alice Walker.
Reply to this Comment | Report This
By: Judy Lynn Clark Ferguson on 9/18/2010 8:23AM
I commend Rebecca for the courage to relinquish her relationship with her mother because she sounds to be an undiagnosed sociopath and their could never be a healthy relationship unless her mother seeked professional help and it has been said that many times professional help does not work because they know how to work those who are trying to help them and they learn new tricks. Rebecca did not want this woman in her life anyway because it would not have been healthy for her children. Good ridance Mom, Good Ridance!
Reply to this Comment | Report This
By: M. Alexander on 9/18/2010 9:26AM
Unfortunately kids can and do sometimes get in the way of a woman especially when a woman is single and raising her kids alone !
I don't know many times I've witnessed single women who have put their lives on hold while they get their young kids off to school and wait for them to come home from school !
While doing this, their life is slowly passing them by especially for women who themselves were raised in a less than stellar environment !
I've got relatives who had their kids at a young age and for lack of self preparedness, found themselves on welfare for the duration of their child's adolescent life and now they are paying a horrible price because those years of welfare and rearing their kids without having any meaningful substance in their lives, has left them unprepared for the workforce and out of work for many many years with nothing to explain it all !
They now work dead end low paying jobs and their kids are equally as messed up !
It's a sad situation !
Reply to this Comment | Report This
By: Mrs. DMS on 9/18/2010 10:44AM
Right, and although I know what you are saying to be true, it's NOT the child's fault. Just how unprepared and not wanting to be a parent at the time an adult does become one, has nothing to do with that child and the sad fact of the matter is, people need to stop doing things to bring children here, if they just can't adjust to life with a child. Children will make your life "inconvenient" if you are on the self side of things in this life, you know, me, me, me. Also, to that effect, if it bothers said person so much, then they have other decisions to make and options to choose from. Should these also not be an option, then SUCK IT up and go be the best darn parent you can be!
What's so heartbreaking at times is, there are people who would love to have their own child and they can't.
Report This
By: Moradeun on 9/18/2010 6:32PM
Mothers bring you onto the planet and the rest is up to the child to grow and develop into the person they are destined to be. According to this article, Alice never abused her physically nor opened the child to abuses of other people.
This young woman had a mom that loved her her way not like some other person's mom loved them. We are not clones of one another. And to compare your mother to someone elses mother is plain immature because that was not your destiny.
Once you are grown, express the woman inside yourself - that is what Alice and feminist are talking about. Be you! The world needs what you have to offer so BE YOU. This girl wanted more of her mother her mother didn't have to offer - are mothers to blame for this? Not all mothers are Mrs. Clever.
Rebecca, sounds like many "other" types of girls who go around talking to everyone about their situation and others filling them up with their advice and Rebecca soaking it all in - never balancing, Still not overstanding just how difficult is was for someone like her mother who was in serious demand. Why did Alice need to be there all the time when she left the girl with family. It does take a village to raise a child. Wasn't Alice's obligation to secure a financial future for herself and child? You have to work to do that. This girl didn't read history. People would leave their children to strike out for work; then get themselves together and send for their children. And those children did well and understood that family has to do what it has to do to survive. Family understands.
Instead of striking out on her own, she like people who don't want to take responsibility for their own life, is striking out at her mother. And what about Dad???? Oh, he and his side of the family were just perfect and pure. Were they the instigators in all this mess: Poor Rebecca, her mother is not available. Poor Rebecca, you're so screwed us because your mother wasn't around...blah, blah, blah... Words like that are divisive and harmful.
Looks like there is competition with Rebecca. She wants to create her fame from not creating stories that don't involve hurting one's family like her mother did. Rebecca uses her creativity espousing personal family business. The Black community doesn't raise our children to blast your mama on front like that. But, thats how the "I'm better than you, Black will bow down to me" do.
Laurence Fishburne's daughter didn't even begin to know what her father message was to the community and got caught up in not protecting his image. Now, here comes Rebecca with her Poor Me mess attempting to destroy her mother's image.
Make your money honey by any means necessary. This is exactly why you're out of the will. Your mother left you with family so that she could serve others in need of knowledge and encouragement. She never said she hated you and wished you were never born. Thing is you have to overstand that she loved her and could love others too! All that Yale education tuition money went down the drain - educated crazy people.
Listening to these "other" people complain about her mother has left her screwed. "Other" people are programmed to compete or make our mothers appear lacking. History has dealt our community a funky hand but our mothers have done and are doing their best with what limited resources availed to them. It has become en vogue to "dog out" the Black Woman. Even her has species equal leaves her vulnerable for society to step on her just to glorify another woman. I'm not even surprised by this story.
Reply to this Comment | Report This
By: Michael on 9/18/2010 12:37PM
Unbeknownst to you I'm sure, you show all in your comment that you're an apologist for clearly unacceptable behavior of this mother (and mothers like her).
So you think the mother's job is simply to drop the load - and then it's up to the "child" to learn and grow on their own. You clearly show what's sick in the black community. A bunch of ignoramusae who don't understand human development and who only look to 'shirk' their responsibility.
PS: Those mothers are not doing their best - not even close.
Report This